My Heart Is Failing Me (A Capella Version) - Riff - My Heart Is Failing Me (CD)

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The date when a paper should be delivered is indicated as "Final Submission". My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call! When everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody in the world really hates my ringtone!

A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer Well, I suppose that proves They're really not all bad. I would live-tweet a funeral Take selfies with the deceased. Gem-Encrusted : Like a swimming pool. Those things don't grow on trees. Genre Roulette : His band is good enough to play any type of music and Al himself can sing in a multitude of styles, able to pull off rock both classic and moderncountry, pop, reggae, boyband, soul, rap, folk and more vocals.

He even wrote an original speed metal song called " Hardware Store ". There is a reason they have sometimes been referred to as "The world's greatest cover band". In fact, Al has been known to get very annoyed and defensive when people refer to them as a joke band. Germans Love David Hasselhoff : Invoked in "Genius in France", in which the singer of the song is very popular in France despite being a self-described complete moron.

Even he's not sure why, but he's not complaining. Gosh Dang It to Heck! Not just in his lyrics. The final episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver in ended with a series of people, both celebrities and people on the street, all declaring "Fuck you, ! Al appears in the middle of this, with " f ffffell way below my standards of quality " and vigorously gives his index finger.

Grade Skipper : Weird Al ended up graduating high school by the time he was 16—he was even the class valedictorian. Grammar Nazi : See here and here. Let's not forget this part of "Close But No Cigar" She was gorgeous, she was charming Yeah, she was perfect in every way Except she was always using the word 'infer' When she obviously meant 'imply' And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing But frankly, I can't imagine why.

Translation: Excuse me, who farted? I'm so handy You already know I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets overflow. Dad would whoop us every night till a quarter after twelve Then he'd get too tired and he'd make us whoop ourselves Then he'd chop me into pieces and play frisbee with my brain And let me tell ya, Junior, you never My Heart Is Failing Me (A Capella Version) - Riff - My Heart Is Failing Me (CD) me complain.

I'll wrap my small intestines round my neck And set fire to myself on stage. Al: I'm just kidding, doggone it. I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!

All your friends are laughing behind your back. You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will. They've got Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

Where was I? I hopped up and said, "I don't know, do you want to get something delivered? I don't even like liver. I just don't want any liver. Pain to the Ass : From "It's Still Billy Joel to Me": Maybe he should dye his hair bright pink and stick a safety pin through his cheeks Then he'll really fit the new wave image but he couldn't sit down for weeks. Tress MacNeille : Woofie, you bi[ ineffectual bleep ]tch!

If the cops ever find him, who knows what they'll say But I'm sure if ol' Lar were still with us today He would have to agree with me - it was a pretty good gag! There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who Wait a minute, it looks like Stu! I'll strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way.

And let me tell you what you didn't win! But that's not all, You made yourself look like a jerk in front of Millions of people. And you brought shame and disgrace for your family name for generations to come. You don't get to come back tomorrow. You don't even get a lousy copy of our home My Heart Is Failing Me (A Capella Version) - Riff - My Heart Is Failing Me (CD). You are a complete loser! Twenty-seven times this week.

Instead I'm telling these lame jokes again and again and again and again and again and again and again. Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore until I give you part four of my confessions! Just eat it eat iteat it, eat it Get yourself an egg and beat it. There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar, Not a single luxury! Like Robinson Ca-rusoe, It's as primitive as can be! So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over rabid gnawing sounds Oh man, they were just going nuts, They were tearin' me apart.

I know a guy who knows a guy Who knows a guy who knows a guy Who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon. And you suck You suck! We're great We're great! I want to feel you from the inside! Suffication, no breathing Don't give a cartoony whistle if I cut my arm bleeding. Each paper is composed from scratch, according to your instructions.

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